The Bush!

This post was supposed to finish up my blog about the megafuneral at my house, but I've decided to throw every convention out the window and talk about: THE AFRICAN BUSH!
For those of who don't know or might otherwise misconstrue the word bush, it means anything that is far away from towns, roads, and semblence of civilization. Now, sit down and let me regale you with tales from the Bush.
The first time I went to out, I woke up at 5:30 to meet my friend Gazale, or Rasta-man (the name probably arises out of his religion, Rastafarianism) at his house. We went out to the bush to collect some palm wine (for teetotallers, palm wine in the morning is only about 1-2% alcohol) with a few guys and a hunter, complete with rifle and hunting dogs. I tried my hand at harvesting and setting up the palm wine collections, but it turns out I was only good at standing around and watching the other guys do work. Why standing, do you ask? In fact, walking in the bush is difficult because you have to look where your feet are going, look up to see where you are going, and look around from the dirt path for mushrooms (quite a tasty treat!). I almost fell several times, and ended up with some nicks and cuts on my feet from walking around. After we had collected some palm wine, I saw where they make apoteshi (moonshine), and of course I promised to come back when they were distilling it in a few weeks. As we were returning to town, the hunter's dogs found some grass-cutters, rodents about two feet long that resemble giant rodents of unusual size (ROUS). It was great to see the dogs herd the animals toward the hunter where he shot two dead. Later, they made a stew and invited me over to enjoy it with them. End of Trip 1.
Trip 2 – This trip started the same way; collected palm wine (and by collected I mean I stood there and walked around with them while they did the work), found some mushrooms. I collected some cocoa pods to eat later, ate some palm fruits and bananas. So we were coming back from palm wine watching, and my friends stopped and pointed at a hole. It turns out there was a hole in the ground that they covered with leaves: if the leaves were disturbed the next day, it meant a rat had its den underground there. The rats here are clever; maybe its the tropical climate, but a rat has two entrances to its lair so that if a predator comes through one way the rat runs out the other side. Fine. So the hunter gets a machete and starts digging to find said rat, while the other guys are clearing the area to find the other entrance to the den. They find the other entrance, and the dogs are still sniffing around the hole and trying to dig and find the rat. I should pause here and say that this is not your black stereotypical rat, but a large white rat maybe two feet long including the tail: it provided enough meat for a good size meal for all of us. Back to the story – we finally dug (I watched with rapt attention) enough for Rastaman to cut off a branch and use it to push the rat out of the hole, like a pushrod used on cannons to pack gunpowder. So he's pushing the branch as far as he can and the rest of us gather and gawk at the other end for the rat. Dogs are waiting, ready to pounce; the hunter has his machete's dull edge ready to pummel the rat to death; I'm waiting 5 feet away to see what this suppossed rat looks like. Does the rat come running out to its doom? Nay, my dear children. Instead a black spitting black cobra snakes its way out, hood flared and fangs ready. Everyone, myself included, screamed and ran away into the bush. The video documentary of this would have provided some nice entertainment and showing that yes, in fact, I do get scared – next time I'll bring the camera men.
Later in the day, we found another rat, killed it, at some fufu with rat soup, drank some nice sweet palm wine, then went to sleep like a baby. I think I dreamed of cobras, like Raiders of the Lost Ark-style, but the palm wine and heat make it hard to recall specifics. Needless to say, I will be going back to the bush next weekend if possible!
Live snakes seen: 1
Dead snakes seen: 5
Electronic devices broken in Africa: 3
Average high, according to my thermometer: 94
Rats eaten: 2