Parenting Tactics

Today's blog post about Ghana is going to talk a lot about parenting styles here in country. For most of the villagers in my area, and indeed in most parts of Ghana (except Accra, where things are most westernized) children are viewed as small people that you have to take care of. Parents generally provide all of the necessary things like clothes and food, but don't take into account that a child needs to have adult supervision at a young age. Consequently, kids evolve into groups that, in a sense, raise each other through interaction with other children, and are not raised by adults most of the time.
There are two ways of thinking about why parents let their children 'run amok', except for disciplinary situations. First way of thought – parents prefer to let their children grow up independently so that they will become 'strong' and self-sufficient when they reach adulthood. Second way of thought – parents don't know how to be effective parents because their parents did not take an active interest in their lives, and as such don't know how to raise children to succeed in academia. Its important to note that in both of these, parents do less 'work' raising children than in the US. Generally speaking, parents don't sit down with kids at a young age to help them learn the alphabet or how to count or how to read; it could be because mothers have a crap-ton of work they need to do, like preparing food (at least 2 hours), bathing themselves and kids (1 hour), cleaning the house (2 hours), and going to visit relatives (2 hours).
In summary, to compare between US and rural Ghanaian parenting styles, American parents teach their children to prepare for school by reading to them and investing time in their kids, and developing a talking relationship. People in my town, from what I've seen, don't really prepare their kids for school and believe that teachers are entirely responsible for their child's education; also, because it is taboo to question an authority figure, parents talk at, rather than with kids when they get home.
Also of note, on Sunday I went to a neighboring town, Kpedze, by bicycle (maybe about 8 miles to get there). I had met a friend in Ho, my regional capital who lives there so I went to visit him (incidentally, his name is also Mike, just like the headmaster of my school, my landlord, and myself). He cooked some jollof rice for me, but we had a lot of discussions about how to raise children. His way of thinking about child rearing is vastly different than others: he doesn't let his kids go andplay with other kids in the neighborhood precisely because of how they are raised. Mike sits down with his kids every night, teaches them English, teaches them to read and take education seriously so that they can succeed in school. Think of everything I have said about how Ghanaians raise their kids, and now reverse that for Mike – in summary, he is determined to have his kids go far in life, and I know that they will succeed.
I dont mean to imply that all Ghanaians rear their children like this, but from the majority of parents I've seen its true. Obviously, there are many exceptions: like people living in Accra, the capital, are most westernized with their beliefs.
Fun Facts:
Harmattan has started, and because there is so much dust in the air sunsets are hazy and brilliant.
The day I'm writing this the key to the school was missplaced, so we are all waiting outside.
I'm teaching Kofi, the small boy in my complex, English, the alphabet, and numbers at night.
Temperature outside now: ~80 degrees.
A student just gave me 40 bananas and peanuts as a thank you for the semester.
Average price for a large, satisfying lunch in my town - 30 cents.

A Funeral (but not sad)

Last weekend I went to my first Ghanaian funeral. Now, this isn't your typical American funeral with lots of crying and weeping; it was a funeral with lots of eating, dancing, and socializing. First of all, everyone that goes to a funeral of someone who died 'before their time' wears black, red, and brown to show mourning. However, if the person is old and 'the time is right' then everyone wears white and black to show the they are happy for the person to move on to the next life. Funerals are more like a party and less like a time of mourning, especially because some funerals aren't held until several weeks, months, or up to two years after someone has died!
So back to my funeral: I, being the only white person there among hundreds of Ghanaians, stuck out like... well like a white sheep among a flock of black sheep. I wore black clothes (which are extremely hot in the tropical sun!) and greeted tons of people. However, the best part of the funeral (if there is such a thing) was that my landlord, an 80-yera old man, has unofficially adopted me into his family! And, at said funeral, I entertained not as the Yevu, but as a member of the Asafo family. We met the paramount chief of our surrounding villages who is still chief after being enstooled (crowned) in 1936, visited a few houses and said our remorses to the families, and I even got to eat a nice meal and beer in the end. I had a great time going as an Asafo; supposidly as the next family meeting I will be introduced to the other members of the family – its an extended family over several towns, and I'm sure jokes will abound about how the all black family has a white person in it.
Things are starting to get hot, and its almost time to buy a fan in my non-air conditioned concrete house. The concrete house is an excellent insulator, and proves it worth about midday when its still cool inside and scorching outside... however the flip side is the sun heats up the building and doesnt cool off until the next morning, making going to sleep inside painful. In fact, I've thought of buying a hammock to put outside and sleep in my courtyard, but then I wouldn't be under a mosquito net outside, and would rapidly develop malaria. School term is almost over, so we are giving exams. Speaking of which, Religious and Moral Education (RME) is a class, and some of the standardized questions are just that – questionable. Examples are as follows, and read the question before you look at the answer to see how YOU perform as a model student in middle school.
Q: It is good practice to ____ while eating.

A: keep quiet

Q: Children must be ____ to promote a good relationship with parents.

A: obedient

Q: God always blesses people who _____.

A:donate money for His work.

These were all from our end-of-term exams. So, Kofi means I was born on a certain day of the week, Yevu means white person, and Asafo is the family that has taken me in in Ghana. I have another funeral to go this weekend, so I look forward to being called Kofi Michael David 'Yevu' Asafo Shoup.